Comments on: Family: What Is the Purpose?

By: Raven

Raven — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:46:51 +0000

As always, your answer is there when I need it. I’ve been questioning lately whether or not marriage and children were where I wanted my life to go because I don’t want anything to take away time and energy from the path. This clarifies that so much that has recently been a struggle in my mind. Thank you precious Jetsunma!

By: branch

branch — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:33:24 +0000

This blog entry really made a lot of sense to me and put in perspective what is really important when finding someone to share your life with. As always thank you Precious Lama, may all beings benefit from your infinite wisdom. om tare tuttare ture soha

By: Robert

Robert — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:04:37 +0000

Thank You Jetsunma for responding.
A blessing from you would go a long way considering that as many times I have been to KPC I have never been able too see you.My wife does have mental issues that are trying to say the least,but in all honesty,she is not dangerous to anyone in a physical sense.Thanks for the words of wisdom,as I usually do,I will always be ethical with regards to everything.Thank you very much.I wish you long life.
Robert

By: Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:26:46 +0000

Thank you for writing and visiting.
I first notice how your question is asked. It seems you are on the cusp of making a very important decision. You lined up your question as though you were rationalizing your commitment issues. That’s OK. Something like this must be thought through carefully.
In general, though, I don’t have enough information.
What is the illness for which your wife will not seek help?
What is now so chaotic to you?
I suspect you speak of mental health issues. True? How severe is the illness? Enough to warrent hospitalization? Is your wife a danger to herself or others?
If your wife is very ill there are issues of ethical responsibility. If not so ill, maybe not so much. You will always be responsible as your children’s father.
Thirty years is a long time. Is your wife a Buddhist also? Your children?
If not you may follow the tradition that many Tibetan and Indian householders do. When the marriage and child rearing come naturally to an end, the next phase of life begins. Normally they go deeply into their practice and faith with retreat, receiving teachings, and basing the rest of this life on creating auspiciousness for every future life. And one’s concern broadens from the personal family to the human family, to the family of all sentient beings. Deep compassion is cultivated.
Perhaps as you grow in Dharma you can serve as a guide for your family. Or, in the householder’s eastern model, simply move forward and onward.
I hope this has been of some assistance.
But please, never abandon your ethical precepts. They are the foundation of our path.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

By: Robert

Robert — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:16:53 +0000

My reply is more a request for opinion.I have been married for 30 years.My wife was sane and happy when we married.We had 4 children,One died at 19,one is a type 1 diabetic.I have been of the Buddhist faith for over 20 years.I am not happy but feel responsible to my wife,and son (two children are older and moved away)I have no friends or family to speak to of this.My wife needs medical help but will not accept the idea.My question is.Is it wrong for me to feel that I am responsible for their welfare (mental and physical)to the point of its making my life chaotic and unhappy.