A sacred space for everyone
We have an incredible lineage of koi here. Last year was a monumental breeding season. And this year will be even better.
Come and see the koi puppies, the babies. They are even better.
They are worth watching.
They don’t have the maturity of the older koi, so they don’t have the same depth, but they are young and joyful.
Come and watch their colors and patterns change and evolve as they mature!
Jetsunma: Student 1, if you can’t do the program, you will remain seriously mentally ill. The consequence is your mind will continue to get worse and worse and you will end up losing your job, possibly not too far from now. You have to face the fact that you are mentally disabled, severely mentally ill, it ain’t pretty and we all watch it. I know you won’t listen to me, you never do. Do you want me to find a man to say this to you? Because that’s easy. Anyone with eyes can say that to you. You have to get a hold of your mind! Or your old age won’t be pretty.
Student 1: I understand Rinpoche. I am renewing my commitment to ACA going to a meeting tonight and planning to do a meeting a day for at least 30 days. I will continue with “A New Hope” and can start “The Loving Parent Guidebook”… or any method you think is appropriate. Other things that helped me before were consistency in daily Ngondro practice, making sure I eat (heartily) on time, going to bed on time, staying off social media. Not being involved with any activity outside of KPC for a while, as Student 2 told me you instructed.
Jetsunma: The truth is you will not do any of the things you’re promising to do. You’re just talking talking talking with no mind or heart behind any of it. You are not going to do the program, you’re not doing it well, you won’t accomplish anything. Keep listening to your parents. Look what that’s done for you. You’re leaving for sure. It’s just a matter of time.
Student 2: Student 1, do you realize that you did not commit to doing the program until you were firm in your recovery? You’re creating a box to check, rather than embracing the transformation that is being asked of you. You use all the business as an excuse to not really confront your real problems.
Student 1: There is something going on with Raja. Multiple times today when I’ve checked on them, he has been near the top of the water opening and closing his mouth. It could possibly be a sign of gill flukes.
Jetsunma: Sounds like you’re freaking out and trying to make yourself useful. Use that energy to heal yourself. Student 1 you are sick, and you are getting sicker. I know your whole family is like that so you can’t see it. But you have to get a hold of your mind. You so desperately desperately need attention you’ll do what ever it takes, even if it is for us to criticize you. Your poor sick hungry ghost. Pull yourself together or leave.
Student 1: I’m very sorry Rinpoche. I definitely see the sickness and the relapse. I know I’m not coming from the heart. I do see more of my patterns in this. I realize I have continued to do harm in the process and have lost ground in recovery. I have a lot of regret and I am very sorry to you all, to all the fish, and all other sentient beings who have hopes of us. I know you have no reason to trust me but I will keep trying.
Jetsunma: I wish you would tell me that you could defend yourself from this sickness, that you will be stalwart and fight it. But the pull of your family is so strong, I really wish you could get to a place where you were not asking them for help. I wish you were committed to a course like that, rather than just spinning. An all embracing plan where you can abandon the sick way of living you have. That’s what I wish you would tell me. Why? Because I care about you. You’re pushing it pretty thin, but I care about you.
Student 1: I wish that I could tell you that too Rinpoche, and I hope to tell you that in the future, hopefully sooner rather than later. I think that’s actually what my mental and emotional relapse is about, holding that separation in my mind and then regressing because I’m afraid. I would also like to see myself communicating with you more honestly, openly, and from the heart.
Jetsunma: You know you can’t get to your heart until you let your parents go. Your father really. Your father has control of you still. I’m sorry your mother was such a numbnuts.
Thank you Student 1, that’s the first real thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth in a long time. Student 1, will you now feed them twice a day as I asked you to do. You can see how hungry they are.
What a joy! Today we got to feed our koi for the first time this spring. The water temperature was good and they were ready.
We were really delighted t how the baby koi scarfed the food down. They say that’s characteristic of koi babies. they want to get big, and will eat anything to get there!
they’ve been eating the algae for a while, all of the fish had. but now they’ve found the food. the adult koi, the parent koi, are still fat from last year. That is the great blessing of feeding them up to the max before winter. they stay healthy.
The three white koi that were given to rescue have not done well. I don’ think they were fed up in the fall. they are in the same place as the babies, the same water conditions, so it’s nothing like that. I just think they weren’t fat enough. and it was a shock, because they were only kept the three of them together, and now there are many babies around them.
So they’re in a salt water pool right now. Salt for the koi are like aspirin. It takes down their inflammation and makes them more comfortable. Probably helps their pain too.
Please pray for the three beauties, that they get well and can live here happy.
These babies are really hungry! We’re gonna have some fast growers here! And we have some good koi. Good mixtures, and good pure.
It was wonderful to see La Bella Luna tonight for the first time in a while. She is just as radiant perfect and gorgeous as she always is.
We forget when she hides for a little while, but now we see her in all her beauty!
How wonderful!
Student 1 shared this with me, it is beautiful so I wanted to share with all of you:
“As the radiant Fire Horse Year dawns on this auspicious Losar, February 18, 2026, may the swift wind of blessings carry you forward like the legendary Wind Horse (Lungta), lifting your prayers to the highest realms and dispelling all obstacles with fiery clarity and unbridled energy!
In the profound tradition of Vajrayana, this is a Princess Mandarava Year, echoing the miraculous birth of the great ḍākinī Mandarava in the male wood-horse year. From the moment she entered this world, she stood upright, and displayed the signs of an enlightened being already awakened. Her life exemplifies fearless renunciation, unbreakable devotion, and the swift attainment of rainbow body through union with Padmasambhava.
In her emanations and blessings, we glimpse the perfect fusion of wisdom and compassion, transforming even the fiercest trials into the path of liberation!
May this Horse Year ignite within each of us Mandarava’s indomitable spirit: the courage to gallop beyond samsara’s illusions, the wisdom to recognize primordial purity in every moment, and the joyful energy to benefit countless beings without hesitation.
To all sentient beings near and far, may your minds be vast as the sky, your hearts warm as sacred fire, your steps swift and sure on the diamond path. May longevity, vitality, merit, and realization flourish like spring blossoms after winter’s thaw. May all obstacles dissolve like mist in sunlight, and may every breath become an offering of awakening!
Happy Losar! Tashi Delek!
In the blessings of Guru Rinpoche, Mandarava, and all the lineage holders, may this year be one of profound transformation and boundless auspiciousness for you and all whom you cherish
Ah!”
Sonia Gomes
PS- I removed the Mandarava mantra from the description to honor Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche’s wish that it not be made public.
This approach protects the integrity of the lineage and ensures the practices remain in their authentic context.
This is our new bog! Newly planted. It isn’t finished, we still have some arranging to do, but these little plants will remove nitrates from the pond water as they grow. And they will provide habitat for the peepers, the toads, the frogs, the snakes, all kinds of beings.
It’s still filling right now.
EMBRACE AWARENESS! Don’t run from it.
Student, you may think that you’re depressed, but no you’re not. You’re reacting to a situation that actually happened. And that’s normal. What are you suppose to do with it? You’re suppose to act intelligently and repair whatever is wrong. Work the program, look inside, and find out what is happening. It’s not blanket depression. I can see that. You are reacting to events, which is normal, but you’ve never actually done it openly before. You just acted out. With the program you can learn to feel without being destructive to yourself. You fold when anything happens. And that’s not the way to live. Examine the situation, and act accordingly.
Student:
Thank you, Rinpoche.
Did you see La Bella Luna tonight?
Ohhhh. Neither did I. So sad. Clouds.
But I saw her on Aljazeera, in the middle east.
And she was beautiful even with all the garbage being spewed in her face.
She is still La Bella Luna
How sad how we are perceiving our world, and how we are allowing it to become such a place due to our perceptions.
I’m praying. I hope you are.
Tonight is suppose to be a lunar exclipse, a gibus moon, and blood moon. Actually that’s suppose to be a sign of war. War is coming. Maybe here. Don’t want to scare you, but that’s what that moon means. It’s rare and powerful.
Bella Luna be kind, smile down on us, and bring blessings to people in war torn countries.
Maybe since it’s so cloudy it won’t be so bad for us. One can only hope.