Her Eminence Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche recently shared with the sangha the prayers she recites each night before bed. Among the many expressions of gratitude, one student’s response gave rise to the conversation below, which Rinpoche has asked to be shared publicly so everyone may benefit from this teaching. Names have been made anonymous for privacy.
Student 1: Thank you, Jetsunma, this is much appreciated. Mom [Student 2] does something like this. She has a list of mantras that Student 3 compiled.
Rinpoche’s attendant: Student 1, are you actually comparing this teaching from Jetsunma to a list that Student 3 compiled?
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: If Student 2 wants to practice Student 3’s Dharma she will end up with Student 3’s mind. It blows me away after all these years you haven’t.
Student 2 certainly does her own thing.
The dysfunctional are leading the dysfunctional and the blind are leading the blind.
Student 3, since when did you become a teacher?
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 2, stop doing the bullshit prayers that Student 3 sent you and do what I said. I am the teacher here, not Student 3. What in the world are you thinking? Student 2, you’ve been doing that bullshit stuff since the beginning. It took effort to get you off the Shower of Blessings and do some real practice.
You need medication and therapy. But you won’t do it. You don’t do anything I tell you to.
So just keep doing blah blah blah or whatever you do, and ignore my prayers. I won’t offer you anymore support and advice or teaching.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 3, who are you to compile and distribute practices for others without the discrimination to know how sick the others are, or the wisdom to present to the students what they need?
Rinpoche’s attendant: Do you all realize you appear unable to discriminate the difference between Dharma and ordinary activity? Practice is not merely a collection of words on a page. There is a reason Dharma is passed from teacher to student, and not just circulated like self help books.
Student 2: Dear Jetsunma,
Student 1 is referring to a list handed out many years ago by the sangha (I do not know who). The list was of what empowerments we were given and what the samaya was on each of the mantras associated with the empowerment.
You are my Teacher and I am totally helpless without You!
Thank You for this beautiful teaching. I am doing this teaching at night and I thank You so very, very much.
Student 3: I am most definitely not a teacher of Dharma, Jetsunma. And I have no idea to what Student 1 is referring, as it had to have been a very long time ago.
I haven’t compiled anything that I can recall since the book I made for myself that was requested for those who travelled to India.
What I have done recently is print KPC’s practices (like Sojong, Chimed Sog Thik, Ratna Lingpa Vajrakilaya, what we’ve been doing in group practice) for three or four of your students who asked if I could print a hard copy for them bc they couldn’t.
May I always remain your student, developing good qualities and virtue, wisdom and discrimination, so that in some future lifetime I may become a qualified teacher worthy of your respect.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 1 portrayed it differently but Student 1 perceives differently. I’m sorry to have bothered you, Student 3.
Student 3: I am grateful for the teaching, Jetsunma. Your blessings come in many forms, in a myriad of ways. Thank you.
Student 1: I’m so sorry, both to you, Jetsunma, and to Student 3, and mom. It’s an old, old list from way back when. I thought Student 3 compiled it, but I must be wrong. I was just happy that mom recites mantra to keep samaya every day. I’ve no doubt she’s doing the mantra you’ve said here now.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: You had better check. I think you’re in crisis Student 1. You’re in bad shape anyway. Do you need your meds upped? You’re spinning.
Student 1: I will check. I just started nearly my full workload at my job without decreasing what I’ve promised to do at the temple. It’s going to take a couple weeks to get a stable schedule, and a regular schedule with the meds. Last week was rough for the chopins and I was also prayer chart caretaker at the same time. I’ll need a couple weeks with the new schedule to get used to it.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: What are temple duties?
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: I knew it. Clearly it’s your meds are off. Can’t you manage it? Do you need a case manager? I mean, we can provide one. Really Student 1, you’ve been through this for years. you know Student 1 if your meds are off you are in danger. First of all you become recalcitrant, then you become an asshole, then your moral conduct is lost, and fourth you don’t even recognize your teacher.
Who are you receiving therapy from? You’re thinking sounds really squirrely again.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 1, how old are you now?
Student 1: Last week I did all the tormas for Losar. Prayer chart caretaker. Prayer shifts. Cleaning. Eggs, though I’m behind on that. If I take myself off the tsa lung team we won’t have enough people, so I’m going to try to do it in less time. It’s manageable, I just have to get back on a schedule.
I fell asleep last night before I had my evening meds.
I’m 58. My therapist is [name redacted].
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: You don’t need to do tsa lung. Take yourself off that.
Wow you’re almost 60 huh? Not a little girl anymore. Why do you still act like one? And you still can’t manage your affairs? Why is that, Student 1? Can you manage your meds, because if not I could put someone on it. I was hoping by now you would be better enough to see to yourself. But, I will take care of you if that’s what you need.
How often do you go to therapy?
Student 1: I go to therapy every Wednesday morning. And no, definitely not a little girl anymore.
If I come off the tsa lung team, the team won’t have enough people. Already too much is on Student 4’s shoulders. One of the team members is injured, and another just had a sharp increase in responsibilities.
People manage with much more than I’m doing. It’s just a new schedule, a lot of change, and we’ve had Losar, two weather events… all within the last few weeks when I’ve started my job.
Rinpoche’s attendant: Her Eminence has taken you off the Tsa Lung team for your own good.
Student 1: Please give me a couple weeks to get on a schedule with everything. If I can’t manage, then maybe tsa lung has to come off. I don’t need to do it, but someone does. People at the temple do a lot more than I do.
I’m actually doing better. Last week I was in much worse shape.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 5, don’t let Student 4 carry everything. Other people need to get involved.
If Student 4 wants to help she can call on the people who have had tsa lung from New York and invite them to come and practice.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Maybe Student 6 and Student 7 can call and ask people to help (with tsa lung)
Student 1: Thank you, Jetsunma. The team’s too small and Student 4 needs help with it.
Student 5: Yes Jetsunma. I’ll talk to Student 4 to get the background and get others to help.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 1, you do what I say – period. Everyone will do what I say, not what Student 1 says. Do you understand that?
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 1, you can stop playing the control games now. You saw where it got Student 8, if you’re still taking in information.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: I also want Student 1 off the Chopin team until she gets her shit together, gets back on her meds properly, and does what I tell her to do. She is no longer a princess here. Or anywhere really if you look at her ragged life.
I’m trying to help her tame her mind but she is like a wild crazed horse, which I am unwilling to ride. That’s up to her to do.
Student 1: Okay, Jetsunma.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Student 1, what I want you to do is work the program, if you can negotiate your way through to the program. Get your medicines fixed. And get your therapy more frequently.
Student 1: Yes, Jetsunma, I’ll make that my priority.
Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo Rinpoche: Good