Valentine’s Day Message: Not “Be Mine” – but “Be Yourself”

From a series of tweets by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo:

Tomorrow is that day, Valentine. Most people think about romance. I will be having a “Happy Loner’s Day” instead. At this point in my life this is exactly as I want it.

This time of year lovely things do happen, weddings, engagements, romantic beginnings – roses and chocolate and the diamonds! Rings! Jewels! The funny thing is how these lovely heartfelt gifts have such a high price tag. It is the expectation part. The jewelry and gifts often are meant to brand your partner as yours. You wear the same rings, therefore – commitment. I believe in family and commitment in relationships – but not the branding kind.

I think it pays to contemplate this whole “romance” thing. Romance is fun. It is hormonal. We are wired to connect to the genes. Studies show compatible genetics are often paired or attracted to each other. It can be very compelling. In general, however, that compelling part doesn’t last. So more important than the ring is the friendship. Often when there is great passion it is difficult when it naturally ages into comfortable love. Maybe we forgot the friendship part. Or forgot to think what you both will do as friends when the bedroom is actually a place to sleep.

To honor a new, (or aging) love think about your partner with empathy and compassion. Try hard not to judge. Try not to make your lover over into your “creature” or creation. Learn about them rather than demanding from them. We are people, on this relative level. Not toys, or objects to complete someone’s world. Many lovers do not talk about goals; like will we have kids? Will we give them a faith that we can join? Will we support each other if the relationship changes? What about money? Will we help each other get ahead? And the signs, do we read them? Is my love selfish? Am I? What secret motivation does the partner have? What are mine? In other words, there is more to it than rings and roses. There are ever-deepening layers in which love lives, and in which it can grow.

As we celebrate the day for Lovers, remember love is not a toy. It is a path to travel with great respect joy, and compassion. And if you end up raising your family with your best friend, like two comfy old slippers, you are blessed. You two have grabbed the brass ring in love. Respect, love, understanding, that is the prize. Please consider this when you “Put a ring on it.” Look your love in the eye and promise a life of caring and a life of love. Happy Valentine’s Day to all. You know those candy hearts? NEW MESSAGE: not “Be mine.” “Be yourself.” LOVE.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

We Are the Ones

It seems, these days, that the world is divided up in slices, like a pie. There are those who build, create, heal, teach, add and love. Then there are those who break it down, destroy, hate, blow their egos up, hurt others, lie and bring harm. Of course, there are also those who are themselves victims, hurt, alone, afraid, undone and suffering.

This has for me been a time of truly awakening to the suffering of the world. I had always believed in the underlying good in humans. I still do, but more in the sense that all beings are themselves the seed of Buddha. In the last three years of my life I have seen more hate, more meanness, more corruption then I ever did growing up, and that was bad!

This is to me heartbreaking. Those who love and care are terribly outnumbered. Those who would beat up the whole world for fun are too many. I cannot understand hating for entertainment. Is it too much to ask for that haters leave us to our own choices? Many of us choose a path that involves morality and ethical behavior. To the hate side, that is not cool. To the caring side there is no love without ethics and morals.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama teaches the value of dialogue. I agree – to a point. When we dialogue and are only greeted with rage and rant there is nothing to work with. The two sides have very different goals. The haters love confusion, delusion, harm, chaos, destruction. The caring ones want a good result; plenty for all, loving kindness, a bright and giving society – basically to make this world a better, more loving place by having been here. Since we cannot take anything with us but our own karma, we give it all for the sake of all beings. The ignorant do not understand – a huge funeral, crypt, whatever, to inflate ego does no good at all. It is our deeds that speak the loudest.

I have this idea, for instance, of offering my body to feed polar bears, since we have nearly destroyed them. My Lineage will likely not allow. But it is my dream to have my body fed to a mother sow and her cubs. It may save their lives. Who cares if the ego is treasured? It is nothing, and healing hunger is something. I had a dream that I would be allowed to do that. I was so happy to do it.

Who are you, then? A caring one? A hating one? A victim? A BEAR??? This is one lonely planet we must all share, like that pie. What is your goal? What do you hope to accomplish?

My profound wish is to nurture and benefit this world and all sentient beings. I want to die on my feet trying. I want to hold the world in my arms. May I feed the hungry, clothe the poor, save the animals from suffering, and teach the young and the lost. And when I die, may I bring life again by offering my body. Can you understand that? Why waste anything when there is so much NEED? Why play ego games when there is so much at stake? Give it all. You have nothing to lose. Make a difference. Be a mensch. Grow up and love like everything depended on you. Because it DOES.

Indeed, we are the ones we have been waiting for, as our President says. There is no one else. Be kind while you can. It has always been up to you, to us – all. Choose. Then walk your talk.

OM MANI PEDME HUNG!

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

Keeping Love Alive

From a series of tweets by @ahkonlhamo

Love. It is CRAZY! We won’t open up our hearts.  Then when we do, we guard the feast jealously. We grieve when adversity appears.

If we try to kill it, it is US that dies. We ARE love. Starving heart does foolish things- grows fangs, hardens, says, “AH! Screw you!”

But still we LOVE! Don’t put the LOVE to bed. Have courage. Even if beloved is as angry as a deranged wildcat. Step back. Wait. Love differently.

Without Love we dry up and are gone. Gone. Not gone beyond, either. Just gone. If only we could remember what this costs us!

To have a heart full of LOVE and a belly full of NOTHING is a kind of death. Don’t go there. If you have, don’t stay there. Love is LIFE!

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

Speaking Of Love

A teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo (via @ahkonlhamo)

Why do I speak of LOVE? Because I AM in love! With the sublime Bodhicitta- the truest, purest life beyond life LOVE. Fill the earth! Love.

My daughter is not adopted, she is cherished and LOVED! My dogs are not rescued, they are gifts. They rescue ME. Our flock is no burden.  Our flock is a joy, a beauty, sentient beings that need love and teach us to FLY. We are filled with the JOY of helping others!

Happiness cannot be known by those who have no Bodhicitta in their hearts, no LOVE. May all be healed by sublime Love!!!

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

You Are

You are the Light of my life

The beat of my heart

The breath of my body

The song of my speech

The rapture of my mind I love you.

You are the core of my Samaya

The truth of my accomplishment

The nectar of my mind

The warrior of my method

The bearer of my LOVE

You are my blazing one

You are beloved Sun

You are a candle light

To warm me through the night

You are my feast, my Fire

You are my SHINING ONE

You make me come undone

You dance within my sight

You make me feel it right

You make me see your face

I see it when you move about

I’ll be your friend I’ll shout you out!

I’ll get you there

If you can go.

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

Using Twitter to Bring Love & Stop Hate

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I am so happy to see #stop the hate moving with the speed of #LOVE and #LIGHT!  RT and keep it going!

Twitterverse is the perfect place for kindness and loving support! So #stop the hate!

Friends made in Twitterverse are true treasures. So much #LOVE is shared so #stop the hate!

When hateful people cause heartache cut them off or read them the news. #stop the hate!

When people rant with hateful views, invite them to change or shut up. And #stop the hate!

When you see Tweets filled with hate and slander, tell them you stand up for #LOVE and #stop the hate!

When Twitterverse is used for negativity and slander and meanness we ALL lose! So #stop the hate!

#Stop the hate. And #BRING THE LOVE!  We have the power, let’s use it!

Some people are ill, and live and breathe to hate. Show them a better way and #stop the hate!

Some people are chronic haters, and rage is all they know. You need not join them! #stop the hate! #BRING THE LOVE!

It is difficult to reform a hater. They are broken inside. But you are not, so #stop the hate! #BRING THE LOVE!

Will you foul your own nest? Excrete where you eat? #stop the hate! #BRING THE LOVE!

Did you ever think the people would have the power? Together we can #stop the hate! And #BRING THE LOVE!

Feed a starving world! Heal the people! Now is the time, here is the place! #BRING THE LOVE! And #stop the hate!

Let’s refuse to accept hate! And honor only love! Keep it going! #stop the hate! #BRING THE LOVE!

Let’s have a revolution of compassion! #stop the hate! #BRING THE LOVE! RT!

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